Interesting
Gist….Lol!
Let me put a disclaimer here,
this article was not written by me ooo. I actually culled it from a popular
blog Miss Petite Nigeria, and I decided to share it here because I found it
very interesting and worth sharing with you.
Enjoy it after the cut…
I've been called
emotionless..Maybe I truly am..Maybe I don't believe in marriage..'Yep! I said
it. *sips juice* and maybe I'm on the verge of concluding love is just a
fallacy and doesn't exist.(Apologies to all my married readers..I love you)..I
believe marriage is just sticking with someone else's bull shit and accepting
it and I have zero tolerance for bull shit so I wonder how that would work..lol...Continue
No, my stance has nothing to do
with Wiz Khalifa, cheating on Amber Rose, nor does it have anything to do with
rumours of Jay Z cheating on Beyonce..It also has nothing to do with the
married Nigerian celebs who profess undying love for their wives on social
media yet, have hordes of girlfriends allover…Some even commenting on the same
post with awwwww.ooops let me zip it here..
I'm not one who is easily swayed
by pop culture. My decisions are influenced by reality. Things I see, feel, experience
first hand and trust
me when it comes to marriage..Damn! I've seen enough to make me not want to go
into it.
I wasn't always like this. In my
pre-marriage disbelief world, I was to be married at 20, be done with having
kids by 25,then
spend the rest of my years nurturing them, being a working class lady, and
having people say "Oh my! Your kids look like your sisters ".
Yes, I wanted to be like my mum
who makes heads turn whenever they hear she actually gave birth to 5 kids with
the first going on 30.But my perfect life was not complete without a man like
my father. Yes! The quest for a man like my father has cost me some
relationships.
I grew up knowing men were
supposed to be faithful to their wives even when they go for years without
seeing them. I grew up knowing a father would cook and wash his kids clothes
even when they were big enough to do that. I grew up with a man who sacrificed
his comfort, his life, his social life just so his children never lacked. I
grew up with a man who stayed committed to one woman, even when the world knew
he was being foolish, even when she made her decision to dump him, a man who
have his all for her… put her through school… practically made her a city girl
*sigh* I'm digressing now
I grew up knowing it was ok, for a man to
weep uncontrollably, to not eat, not change clothes or shave, just because the
woman he loved didn't want him no more..A man who wouldn't let us eat rice on
Christmas day because he was worried the money he sent his wife who was miles
away didn't get to her in time for Christmas This was the man I knew, this was
the same kind of man who was going to be my husband .All men were like this.
And I swore I would be that woman
who would never make a man pass through what my dad did. To me, men were saints
and we women, were evil.
So at the age of 17. I met my
first man. He was not my first love. My first love was agape kind of love. My first
experience was a horrible one. But this was my first relationship. Mr Biggs had
just opened in Jos
and I was crazy about that place because of the ice cream. Even though my house
was 30 minutes by cab, I made sure I was there everyday.
I had just gained admission to
study diploma in Law and on one of such days, I went over to buy my usual ice
cream. I was heading out when I bumped into him.
Sorry, he said and I glanced at the floor,
waiting for him to step aside "Very beautiful girl". He said further
and stepped aside with a smile.
I blushed. I already knew I was
beautiful. *I see you zooming in on my profile picture. Haha* (Life has taken a
huge chunk out of it). Seriously, I knew that from the way people stared
whenever I passed by. I was practically hit on daily by men in droves . Some 'bad" girls in school
took it upon themselves to protect me from guys. And I thanked them for their
selflessness till I discovered they were lesbians.
Well, being very smart, I knew
men were no good, so I made sure I was extra careful.
But this man was different. He
wasn't like the school boys I was used to seeing. He looked responsible, well
to do and powerful". And I was really flattered such a man called me beautiful.
Those thoughts were intercepted
by my frustration at having to wait for a taxi to no avail some meters away .
I decided to take a bike and I
knew my dad would skin me alive if he caught me on a bike. But I needed to be
home as my ice cream was fast melting. As I negotiated with the bike man, I heard
an impatient honk of a car, the bike man cleared out of the way and there was
that same stranger in the sleekest ride I had ever seen. There was an elderly
man with him.
Hello, smallie..Don't tell me you
trying to get on a bike. Do you want to break your tiny legs?
He said with a smile. I was
dumbfounded..
Where are you headed? He inquired
"Ermm, sorry sir, I'm not
going your way"- I replied
"I didn't ask if you were
going my way. It's
getting late, let me drop you off"
Noo..Sorry .I don't enter lifts please. I
said moving away with the elderly man breaking into a smile.
He stepped down from his car and walked towards me
Wait wait..He dipped his hand in
his pocket and produced a business card
'See..I'm a business man. I don't bite. With me is the controller
general of Nigerian export promotion council.. Responsible people. I just want
to drop you off."
He walked towards his car, opened
the back door and beckoned at me to get inside.After my persistent refusal .He said
"Ok..I will wait for you to get a car,not
a bike and I will follow you to ensure you are safe
I'm not a kid. I'm in the
University. I fired back, feeling some what belittled
Hahahaha.You? University. Smallie
stop lying ok. What class are you in secondary school.
Gosh I hated my small statue. I
was too tiny and premature looking I insisted and told him I was studying a
diploma in law .He then
asked if I knew a certain guy which I did. It turned out to be his brother.
Armed with that new information,
I found myself getting comfortable and he drove me home. As we were approaching
my house, I spotted my dad going in..Oh no oh no, I dived for cover..what's
that, they both turned back alarmed
Ermm drop me here ..I said with desperation
He stopped the car and before you
could say jack Robinson, I bolted towards the house, not bothering to say thank
you.
I forgot about him for a week,
till a neighbor told me,
Emeh there is one man who has
been coming here for a week to look for one girl he said is in Law. He said he
doesn't know her name just wondering if it's you.
"Noo can't be me. Don't know
anyone who knows my house let alone has the guts to look for me.
"I'm sure he is looking for
one of these runs girls who has chopped his money. He looks very rich and is
always changing cars.My neighbor reasoned
I agreed. There were so many high
class unibabes in my area.It was a Sunday when I heard my dad's shouting at the
top of his voice
"You say you came to see
who? My daughter? Who are you and why?
Sir, My name is E.We are class
mates.There is an assignment
Oh shit! I jumped up from the
sofa ,that was his voice ..Peeping through the blinds, I listened intently as
he struggled to explain his reason for being at my house
"Young man ,do you know my
daughter just celebrated her 17th birthday? Do you know that?How dare you come
here with your stolen car and cultish looking eyes to deceive my small
daughter. Do you want to die?My dad said menacingly .I could see him backing
away gradually
Sir, I mean no harm..I just
You are still
talking..Anyi,Anyi..my dad called out my younger sister's name ..Bring me my
gun..Not the dane gun,my Ak47..Its under
the bed .Hurry..
Oh my daddy.He had no gun but his
trick always seemed to work even when feeble minded thieves came calling ....
I saw E Bolt out of our compound
and start his car,zooming off...
After that, my dad came int o the
living room.Without saying a word i began to explain
He gave me some assignments to do
daddy.You know these men who don't attend school and all.But i didn't do it..
"I don't want to see that
man here again"
He said and went into his room,shutting the
door
1 week later, i was exiting my
lecture hall when I saw him.
Emeh my smallie .I frooze. Won't
you say hi to me ..If for nothing, for the fact that i almost lost my life
because of my desire to see you..
You heard my father.I'm just
17.Please leave me alone ..I sid walking away as fast as my legs could carry
me..
Please please Emeh hear me out
...He grabbed my arm gently.If you don't like what i'm going to say, feel free
to never talk to me again..
And that was the beginning of my
friendship with E...E taught me everything .Things i was ashamed of asking my
father .Things I needed a mother to tell me .E spoilt me silly with gifts.He
would travel and return with the best clothes, shoes and jewelries .I would
leave the house in a normal attire and then change into what he bought ..
Back then he also had one of the
biggest boutiques in Jos,and sold cars too ..He was patronized by the rich and
powerful. E started to leave me with his key and travel.I started to spend less
time at home and because of my good grades and the little time i spent at home,
i was reading, my dad had no reason to doubt I was at the Library or with good
friends in school reading ..
I would get out of my lecture
hall and there he was, standing and waiting for me .And so the cycle
continued.But he never laid an amourous hand on me .Never tried to get
sexual.But by this time, everyone knew him in school.All the guys miraculously
kept off .
On my 18th birthday ,i was home
when I heard the sound of a car.I looked out and i saw my dad step down from
E's car.They were laughing like friends who hadn't seen each other in years.
Come in ..come in..My dad
beckoned
I watched him come in with my dad
and i was confused.How did they become friends?What changed? Why didn't he tell
me he had been speaking with my dad.
As soon as they stepped in..My
dad said
Emeh ,come and greet my young friend
I came out reluctantly
This is E, get him something to
eat.He is the brother of one very lovely Igbo woman who is married to a
Cameroonian.He said he was passing by and his sister had told him so many
things about me and he decided to visit us..
It was clear my dad didn't
recognize he was the same person he tried to shoot.
He humbly declined the food offer
but said he brought some items from the village..He needed help getting them from the car so
being the only one at home, my dad asked me to get them.
Stepping out, I hurriedly asked
him what was happening . He said he would explain later,and so i brought in the
food stuff, chickens etc.
He told my dad he had to rush
somewhere..Not after feigning ignorance to ask my dad if i was his first
child..
Yes she is,my dad said with
pride.She would soon be a lawyer and I have a special gun to shoot any man who
comes close .My dad said with a slight hint of warning.
He got the message..He left and
then called me. I had a secret phone he bought .
I pretended to go and buy
something and rushed to meet him..And he said today , you are officially 18,and
my wife to be .See you tomorrow .
I was shocked and honestly didn't
know what to make of the situation.But I knew i was so fond of him.We had never
been apart unless when he traveled.I was closer to him than my own dad or younger sister..
And so our relationship began.It
was so intense that I had no space to breathe, to make friends, keep friends.
And he was always around.He had
become my father's close friend.He would come and they would gist for hours. My
father would confide in him. On this particular day, my dad told him if he were
a greedy father, he would be very rich because an extremely wealthy man had
asked for my hand in marriage .
I saw the colour drain from his
face
My dad then said there was no way
i would get married to a man without a masters degree.He also said and that man
must also have a masters degree .He
called the man who asked for my hand in marriage ,a joker who thinks offering
him a jeep would make him sell his daughter..
After that conversation, I
noticed E became more possessive .the fancy clothes stopped, the make up was
frowned at .He would take me to school, wait and take me home.He would take me
to the market .
Then he surprised me with and
admission letter .He was now studying Business Administration, Part -Time.
Then he began to teach me how to
drive,promising to buy me my own jeep to take to school if i remained a good
girl ..
I was choking.I was alienated
from people my own age.He was 30 and i was 18.
Then one day, a female classmate
invited me to her birthday party at home.We used to be friends before I met
E.So I feigned illness and told him I couldn't come to his house that day.If
for nothing, it was getting to two years of being with this man every single
day...
He said ok..and hung the phone..
I had dressed up and told my dad
about the party,he knew her and her family and confirmed from her dad.He let me
go. As I exited the gate. My jaw dropped .It was E ,waiting for me with such
fury I had never seen..
He broke into a smile" My
smallie..where are you off too"...
I'm going to Rekiya's
birthday.She told my dad and he said i should go.
Oh your dad..That's
interesting.She told your dad.Did she tell me ?
I was wondering why she needed to
tell him when he said ..
Get in the car let me drop you
off
I was relieved. Atleast he wasn't
angry.He had never gotten angry with me.
I got in and we drove off.15
minutes later,he was driving in another direction.Towards the abandoned
National Stadium in Jos .It had a large field where people usually learnt to
drive but was also notorious as a hideout for robbers, thugs,drug peddlers..We
were there once for driving lessons and he didn't like the place and we left
What are we doing here? I asked
as he drove further towards an isolated area.
Oh..I'm meeting up with someone
here..
Didn't sound reasonable.Why not
meet in his office?I shrugged it off.He finally parked at a very isolated place
but i could see a few people far off..
Then I made to open the car door
when i felt a thunderous sound ..Was that me?Did some one hit me?The car? I felt
numb and turned towards him when this time, i felt the pain as his clenched
fist landed on my jaw..
BOOOM..That was the sound. I was
dazed as i felt my eyes go bloodshot..I made to ask him why when I saw the
third blow coming
Omg he was going to kill me in this
bush.Something was wrong.I blocked my face with my arm and the blow made my arm
numb with pain .I tried to open the door but he kept punching me ,tearing my
clothes to shreds..so I closed in on him ,protecting my head by placing on his
chest while he struggled to aim for my head,he kept punching me as i gathered
the courage to scream ..
Then he began..
You want to leave me? You want to
cheat..After all I did for you?I picked you up from the gutter.I cleaned you up
from when you were a baby .This is what you want to pay me back with ?
He kept raining blows on me while
i got too weak to scream.I just kept feeling the thud ,faintly, the pain was
faint now..I could hardly hear him but i know he was screaming ..
ie, die. you would die before you
leave me.I went to school for you, I fought my family for you, I left every
girl for you..Die die..
Yes..dying would be much relief i
thought as i gradually slipped towards unconsciousness..
The last thing i heard was
Emeh..Emeh.. don't die on me. Emeh, wake up ..Was he crying?Emeh, I love you..I'm
so sorry my smallie..
I tried so hard to open my eyes
but I couldn't and I found myself falling into a deep sleep...
Sorry..to be continued
......................
Culled: Miss Petite Nigeria
Akuko n'egwu.....anyway, sweet though
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