I had been out of town over the
weekend. To make matters worse, Internet coverage in my new destination had
been poor. But I was hungry for news like an incurable smoker would yearn for a
stick of cigarette. Then, a flicker of hope. Like a flashing light, the network
came briefly and for a moment my news feed crackled to life as updates and
images rolled in. Then one image caught my attention....
In one blurry picture, I saw
Adams Oshiomhole, Edo State Governor, in a black suit. But he was not alone–a
young ravishing bride was close by. Then, like a candle in the wind, the
network disappeared again. What is happening? I wanted to know but like the
wait for Godot in Samuel Beckett’s eponymous play, I waited anxiously for the
images of Oshiomhole and his queenly bride to load. It was a wait in vain, it
turned out.
Desperate, I placed a call
through a friend who quickly updated me about a wedding that had become the
talk of the town in Nigeria. My friend was almost admonishing me, “O boy, you
dey Naija at all? You don hear the new gist in town? Oshio Baba don catch one
Opeke wife from Cape Verde?” The voice at the other end was ecstatic.
“Really? I responded to his
agitation. “Who be the Comrade’s new catch?, I asked in return. He was even
more agitated now. “Men, you need to see the bride, just go online, you will
see how the wedding has been trending on social media”, he said as his voice
trailed off.
I arrived in town to the media
frenzy that had greeted the wedding of the labour leader turned politician. Going
by public reaction to the wedding, it seemed Oshiomhole pulled a fast one on
Nigerians. Not that Nigerians did not expect the marriage; we knew the governor
had been widowed for about five years with the unfortunate death of his wife,
Clara.
What is generating excitement is
the woman that captured the heart of the governor. Iara Fortes, the new Edo
First Lady is not your everyday woman. She is a dashingly young woman from Cape
Verde. The age difference is what has got Nigerians talking. Oshiomhole’s bride
is young–very young. The type they metaphorically refer to as “sweet sixteen”
when compared to the age of the governor. Now Oshiomhole is said to be “too
old” for his new wife and that she is “too young” for him.
As the union was being solemnised
in Benin on Friday with the President-elect, Muhammadu Buhari. In attendance,
the blogosphere was literally set on fire. The wedding trended for days on end.
Perhaps, it is a welcome relief. For many weeks, Nigerians’ fixation on the
2015 elections and its aftermath had pushed other news into the background. The
Oshiomhole-Forte wedding thus shifted the narrative from politics to love.
Rather than talk about politics, Nigeria got busy with the Oshiomhole’e
wedding.
Opinions were sharply divided.
While some hailed Oshiomhole, some condemned his choice. I even read somewhere
that some eligible Edo women were angry that the man they fondly call “Oshio
Baba” overlooked them. Frankly, I must say that I was indifferent to the
hysteria that greeted the wedding. Unlike many Nigerians who had expressed
hypocritical and self-righteous indignation for what they considered the
incongruity of the union given the age difference, I had sat back, away from
the babbles. For one, there is no arguing the fact that Oshiomhole deserves to
be happy again after what had been the most traumatic moment of his life-the
loss of his wife five years ago. While no one can deny that the governor has
the right to remarry, the debate has largely focused on the age difference
between the 63-year-old politician and his new wife who is reported to be 29
years of age. But really, is a 63-year-old man really that old?
That the marriage has continued
to dominate public discourse points to one fact: public officials are
constantly under the radar. What Oshiomhole has done is nothing new. Older men
prefer young women for marriage and “other” purposes. No doubt, the governor’s
wedding has reignited the debate about the role of age in marriage. The
question has been asked many times. Should age be a barrier in marriage? What
should the age of partners have to do with marriage? Can a man or woman marry a
spouse younger or older? This age-long debate will not go away soon. While
Nigerians tear at one another online, the governor proved the doubters wrong.
He went on a 10-kilometer marathon race at the annual Okpekpe Race, a day after
the wedding. After the race, the governor announced to the naysayers: “I am
still strong to do what young people do.” I am not sure if the statement was
informed by concerns over his age difference.
The drama trailing the
Oshiomhole-Forte wedding reminds one of another controversial union between the
late revered Ikemba Nnewi, Chief Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, and a former
beauty queen, Bianca Ojukwu (formerly Onoh). As in the Oshiomhole’s case, many
at the time had questioned why the young Bianca would think of marrying the
older EzeIgbo Gburugburu. The union was so controversial that it reportedly
created a rift between the two families. But Bianca insisted on sticking to her
heart. The rest is now history.
Many have also alluded to the
role of money in marriages where the age difference is wide between the couple.
I have listened to suggestions that the Oshiomhole bride may have come for the
money. Those who say that age is a barrier to marriage or love have argued that
women who marry older men are attracted to wealth and the possibility of being
a part of the Will when the man dies. They believe that ordinarily, no young
woman will marry an old man except if the man is rich. But such an assumption
is a generalisation that may not often be true.
The question I have asked is
this: Do women marry older men for money or for love? Why is age difference a
factor in marriage? Personally, I do not see age difference as a barrier in marriage.
How many men marry women their age mates these days? For those who have argued
that young women marry rich old men to be part of the inheritance, they miss
the point. While it may be partly true, the decision of who to marry is often
based on choice. I have seen some really young women marry older men who cannot
be considered rich by any standard.
I have also seen young women who
said they preferred older men to the brash, impatient young men of today. Such
women believe older men know how to treat women better. In practice, men often
marry women who are far younger than them in age–a reason I consider the
Oshiomhole-Forte debate hypocritical. I know many Nigerian men today who will
want to be in Oshiomhole’s shoes. And indeed, many of the people who criticise
Oshiomhole have much younger wives at home or contemplating to contract one.
Final word: The governor and his
beau have found love. Let’s wish them a blissful married life.
Twitter: @bayoolupohunda
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