Love Nwantiti!!!
I was on my own oo, relaxing with
my phone after a hectic lesson, so I came across this all interesting article
written by a public affairs analyst AZUKA ONWUKA. In this article, I learnt a
lot about the kind of ladies I shouldn’t think of getting married to…Lol! In fact,
even as female readers too, it also contains the kind of man you shouldn’t
settle down with…Lol!
Read it after the cut…
The easiest time to prevent a
divorce or an unhappy marriage is before marriage, not after. There is no
gainsaying that love can have such a drunken effect on the about-to-wed that
clear danger signals become unimportant to them, while hope becomes their only
commodity. After all, is it not said that love conquers all? Great! But what
type of love conquers all? Agape or Eros? Why compare God-love, which is
unconditional, with sexual love, which can be waver?
There are traits that some people
cannot drop. It is like hoping that a right-handed spouse will one day become
left-handed: a classical case of waiting for Godot!
If you are looking for a wife or
a husband, please be wary of these 12 groups of people.
Those
who can never apologise
They would hurt you, annoy you,
disappoint you, but would never apologise, because they believe that it would
belittle and demean them. When you are wrong, you apologise to them, and when
you are right, you still apologise to them, hoping that that they would change.
But they never do. Soon you start to feel irritated and agitated. The love and
respect you felt for them start to wear out.
Those
who can never say thank you
Whatever you do for them, they
are never grateful. They make statements like: “Why should I say thank you when
you are just doing your duty?” Some would say that their gratitude is in their
heart. So, do I have to open your heart to see the gratitude inside and get it?
Ingratitude is an attitude that causes irritation, frustration and unhappiness.
Such people also believe the
world owes them a lot. They go around their activities with an entitlement
mentality. They are difficult to please.
Those
who have excessive libido or inadequate libido
Sexual intercourse is a very
important factor in marriage, but when you have a spouse that needs it for
breakfast, lunch and supper, it becomes difficult to have any peace in the
family. Infidelity also knocks on the door. On the other hand, when you have a
spouse that hates sex or thinks that sex should be an annual event undertaken
during the wedding anniversary or birthday celebration, then you know that you
have some real trouble in the house. Infidelity is also usually a challenge.
Sexual problem is worsened by the fact that it is one topic that couples find
difficult to discuss with even those who genuinely want to help resolve the
marital rift.
Men
who think women are to be seen but not heard
Some men still live in the 18th
century, in spite of the depth of education they profess. It is true that
marriage is not a zone for feminist crusade, but if a man has archaic views
about women, then please avoid him like an Ebola patient. Watch out for
statements like: “How can an ordinary woman want to be the CEO?” “How can a
woman debate with men?”
Women
who believe they don’t need a man in their life
Such women believe that they are
self-sufficient in all things. They have the I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude. Men
feel ill at ease when they are with women who don’t allow a room in their lives
for a man to fill. Such women find it difficult to express love. They always
believe a man wants to dominate them. They are usually too defensive, too
competitive, and too contentious. Men who relate with them usually feel
frustrated. Such men always choose their words and actions carefully to avoid
quarrels. That smothers affection and joy.
Men
who are looking for housemaids, not wives
These are men who still live in
the 15th century in this modern age. They have an archaic idea of what the role
of wives is. They believe that women are only meant to cook, clean the house,
bear children, and serve the men.
They believe that when men talk,
women just have to obey; when men talk, women must keep quiet. The man can keep
mistresses, but the woman should keep quiet and not even be seen greeting a
man. A woman should not work, should not step out of the house, and should not
complain, whatever the man doles out to her.
Those
who can never trust anybody
These are those who believe that
everybody is an enemy. Everybody is filled with evil designs against them. They
have an obsession with fear of people, including their spouse, that it is
irritating. Once a spouse cannot be trusted, there can never be joy in the
family. They see through every action. They believe that everybody has evil
intentions.
Those
who have no respect for others
People can mouth love, but
without respect, a marriage can never be happy. Women who love to prove a point
by insulting their husbands, or men who believe in treating their wives without
dignity in the name of cutting their wives to size: such people make terrible
marriage partners. Nothing kills marriages like disrespect.
Women
who see all men as competition that must not be given an inch
Marriage is not a place for
activism. A woman who sees a man as a competitor rather than a complement is a
dangerous person to marry. When a man has to contend with a woman every minute,
when a man is always too conscious of what to say or do to his wife, then there
is a problem at home.
Those
who can’t control their temper
Hot-tempered people are
dangerous. They can utter anything in anger. They can do things that they will
regret for life. They can be violent. Their words can be venomous. They can put
you in trouble. They are unpredictable.
Those
who cannot forgive
Forgiveness makes us look
superhuman. But there are those who cannot forgive, no matter the
circumstances. Not only can they not forgive, they can also not forget. Because
they can’t forgive, they usually think of how to get revenge.
Those
who have not been weaned by their parents
Age has little to do with
maturity in marriage. Those who have not been “weaned” by their parents make
poor marriage partners. They are full of “Mummy said”, “Daddy said”. They take
every family discussion to their parents. They cannot do anything unless their
parents approve. They allow their parents to run their homes in the name of
showing respect.
Those who are tied to the apron
strings of their parents make marriage tasteless. Such spouses are a constant
source of frustration and sadness. You will always be wrong in their sight. You
will always be vilified.
In summary, marriage is not a bed
of roses. There is nobody without some faults or idiosyncrasies. But it is
foolhardy to walk into a landmine with one’s eyes open, praying and hoping that
the explosive would not go off.
To avoid heartaches, neither
blind love nor desperation to get married should push a bachelor or spinster to
jump into a marriage with someone who will cause nothing but pain, sadness, and
sorrow. Marriage should not be treated as a game of Russian roulette.
Twitter @BrandAzuka
Exactly, I perfectly agree with you
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