My advice here is simple. Babes,
whenever you find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t forget you can walk
away and move on with your life. It’s true that good things wait for the
patient dog; same cannot be said about a side-chic.
In the article below, prolific writer
William Ifeanyi Moore talks about the garnishing of the side chic in a
relationship. Don’t forget to tell us what you think in the comment box. Read
it after the cut…
A friend of mine was telling me
how she was ‘seeing’ this man that had a girlfriend. Initially she thought it
would not bother her. After all besides his occasional company and good D, for
monthly servicing she wasn’t sure she could tolerate him all that much. Not to
mention the fact that he was cheating with her showed her what type of man he
was. If she ever got serious with him it was only a matter of time till he
found some other woman to fill the side-chick position. Right…
Fast-forward a few months later
she found herself feeling some type of way about him not replying to her
messages as quickly as he used to.
You see this guy lived outside of
Lagos, but he was in the city for an extended period when they first met. Now
he was back to the city where his girlfriend lived (I won’t mention where
before someone enters hot soup. You know the average woman is qualified to work
for the CIA). Obviously he was spending time with his main chick which meant he
was less available to my friend’s needs.
This was the beginning of the
end. When he was in Lagos he still made time to see her, but in front of her he
would reply messages from his main chick and even take calls.
Ladies, just in case you were
wondering, if you are the one that knows about the other girl he is with, you
are the side chick. The main chick is always protected from such information.
It has come to my attention that
some side chicks have actually started to think themselves the number 1 because
they get more frequent D or more regular gifts. Think of it more as salary for
your services and less like signs of affection. When it is time to make a
choice, that man will stick to his main chick (for the most part).
Anyways, I digress. Slowly but
surely my friend began to want more of this guy; but not in the way she wanted
him before. She already had his bodily attention, now she wanted his emotional
attention. Unfortunately someone already owned that part of him. The harder she
tired, the more she came off as a whinny/needy girl. Needless to say, as these
things often do, it ended in her regretting ever talking to him.
Moral: Women compete with each
other for the emotional attention of men. No woman wants to feel like all they
are good for is a poke in bed. Not when another woman is getting so much more.
Men on the other hand are nothing
like this. The phrase ‘the other man’ is more or less none existent. The female
equivalent to ‘the other woman’ is so popular that there is even a movie with
that title. When a man is ‘seeing’ a woman already in a relationship, more
often than not he is very happy to provide only a physical service while the
boyfriend handles the emotional drama. In fact, the only thing most guys care
about is that they are ‘hitting it’ better than her man.
Moral: Men compete with each
other for the physical attention of women. We really don’t mind feeling like
all we are good for is a rump in bed. In fact we are proud to be only good at
that, rather shamefully I must admit.
This polarizing attitude towards
sex can be reflected in even how sexual entertainment is tailored for the
sexes. Women will rather read erotica books where a man is portrayed to supply
sex with commitment and emotional attention. Men just want to watch porn with a
storyline as simple as a plumber coming to fix a pipe only to end up laying
one.
My advice to women: If you cannot
be good, be the best at being bad. As a rule of thumb I have what I call the
‘Three Hit Theory’. This theory suggests that after sleeping with a guy three
times with constant conversation in between these rendezvous, a woman will get
emotionally attached (A.K.A catching feelings).
If you have decided to have no-strings-attached
sex, cut out all that chit-chatting in-between. When you need an oil change,
just call the service engineer and let him do his job. Avoid cuddling and long
pillow talks. These actions encourage the secretion of oxytocin which is an attachment
hormone. You don’t want that. If you cannot emotionally handle this operation,
get yourself a man. The matter of friends with benefit is for another post.
As for guys, y’all are already
cold-hearted. My prayers are with you. And please ALWAYS wear your raincoat.
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