Well, I think I’m
finally safe to write this article, since I’ve set up my e-mail software to
automatically filter out any messages containing swear words.
Sincerely, I don’t
know if there’s any song that made me change the TV station faster than this
one. If I didn’t, I’d have been doomed to have a group of adults with hideous
and unsync voices chanting, “we are the children” over and over in my head for
the next six months. And that certainly isn’t all that’s wrong with the song.
Michael Jackson would probably be spitting and cursing in his grave right now,
like a pregnant woman with whitlow on her ten fingers and toes. What the heck
were they thinking changing his beautifully composed piece of art to the most
insipid crap ever written?
I’m going to tell you
this for free; don’t listen to We Are The World by African all stars unless
you’re trying to get a bone out of your throat. That is only when the song
would be useful.
We know that African
music isn’t made up of the best singers anymore, but honestly, how did they
think that they could fill up a seven-minute song with nothing but monotonous
chanting of the same feeble chorus over and over again?
The humorous
highlight of the song is Kcee’s ridiculous line “There’s a choice we making, we
saving our own lives.” Never has the word (saving our own lives) meant so
opposite. And the only choice that could have been made by the organisers was
not to have included Kcee in the song. He was even off key for Christ sake.
Kcee, your hilarious accent is to be commended.
Luckily I could warn
the rest of you who haven’t listened. Kcee is the first reason this is the most
repulsive rendition of this song ever.
There were other
worse vocals like Sean Tizzle’s, but Tiwa Savage sounded like a two- year- old
being dragged out of a toy store. She should know when to keep the vibrato off
her voice. And For a minute I thought Banky W was going to faint. Whoever chose
the key to this song should have been reminded that most Nigerian singers are
all about auto-tune and can’t hold their notes.
Jesus Christ, what is
happening to music? This is easily the worst combination of voices in human
history. Only the most despicable revisionist historian could possibly claim
that this song is anything close to good. It’s nothing more than a hideous
irritation festival from the individual who sold the idea to the sponsors.
While writing this article, someone suggested that maybe vocals wasn’t the
criterion for selecting the artistes. REALLY? Are you kidding me? Then they should
have gone for the kill. Artquake should have been in there somewhere, Or
perhaps even Daddy Showkey. A number of you are probably thinking “hey, come
on, I kinda like that song.” Of course, every lover of today’s Nigerian music
will surely like the song. This is the musical equivalent of Agege bread: it’s
meant to be packed with so much artificial crap that it’s bound to appeal in
some way to Nigerians.
No matter how
musically credible you are, no matter how much cutting-edge indigenous songs
you listen to, whether you snore in baritone in your sleep or not, this song is
a shame. It is the kind of rendition that makes today’s Nigerian music uncool.
If you have listened to it, the fact that the singers were trying too hard to
sound like the original version should have made you turn off your TV in
disgust. If you haven’t, download it right now. I dare you to try to make it
through the first 10 seconds. It is the ultimate endurance test.
If you’d care to
suggest another song for me to review, you can always feel free to do so by
e-mailing me at mail@etceteralive.com. If you’re the guy who e-mailed me about
being a Wizkid fan, for the love of God, get some help.
- Etcetera
About TRENDY
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