A carpenter that came
to work for me recently was going on and on about how his younger sister has
helped the family so much-economically. After a while, he became downcast and I
asked what the problem was, he told me that it depresses him that the sister
hasn’t brought a man to show them. As far as he is concerned, that lady is a
nobody, for as long as she hasn’t become a ‘Mrs.’ All her hard work and
efforts- at uplifting the family economically are all a waste…until she finds
some man(even if he is the type that will be hitting her every day) to marry
her. It is truly a sorry mindset...
A good friend
captured it aptly when he said, “What has gone wrong is that our society is
putting too much pressure on our womenfolk to get married and become
‘respectable’- so they fall for sloths ,only a few have liberated themselves
from such shackles and are not ashamed to be single. I think more needs to be
done in changing the thinking that a woman’s real worth is only in marriage.
That way, some ladies would begin to look deeper into who they get involved
with. These days, women enter into relationships with men who aren’t worth
being called men; you get a woman’s head spinning simply by promising marriage.
Most single ladies don’t enter into relationships here for the sake of it, they
will begin to act ‘wife’ from the word go and that doesn’t go well with some
men- especially those that are not ready. Some men also know that the easiest
way to get some ladies is to posture as potential hubby .I still maintain that
when women begin to think less of marriage as the measure of their worth (as
human beings), the better for them.”
It is emotionally
healthy to be involved with a worthy companion but it is myopic for a society
to carry on as if a woman’s worth is determined by her marital status. As
delightful as marriage seems, it doesn’t really define anybody. And a married
lady is not necessarily happier than her single counterparts. There are so many
supposedly married ladies who still peep out for fulfillment (not necessarily
sexual…could be some sort of emotional upliftment). Let whoever that wishes to
be married do so because she has found a worthy companion, not because she
feels she has to be a ‘Mrs.’- to be regarded as a ‘somebody.’ I am not here to
discourage anybody but it is high time we learned to put things in their proper
perspective.
No lady should be
made to believe she is worth nothing and that her life should stand still…until
she becomes a ‘Mrs.’ The reason marriages are crumbling so fast is because of
the desperation that drives people (especially ladies) into it, they do
anything to get in there, only to realise (sometimes late) that marriage is
just a phase of life…life itself continues!
Marriage is
delightful but it is wrong to measure a woman’s worth by it. Our society does
not look at an unmarried man as unkindly as it looks at an unmarried lady…most
ladies do not have the emotional capability to withstand this kind of emotional
pressure, so they settle for any ‘third leg’ that breezes into their lives…even
the pathetic ones and the number of ‘bad marriages’ remain on the increase.
Whoever has a girl
child should teach her to (first and foremost) find completeness in herself, so
that if a complete man comes her way, they will grow together. Otherwise, she
is better off-being alone!
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